What is a Reflective Retreat?

Daily life is busy, and we all know how easy it is to get wrapped up in work, family, friendships, social events, finances, home upkeep, meal prep, exercise routines… the list goes on and on. Before we know it, we have lost sight of our life goals, and our intended destinations become dreams.

I was a junior at Taylor University, preparing for Dr. Kroll’s organic chemistry final exam, and little did I know my life was about to change. Normally I sat through O-Chem with mild dread and confusion, struggling to grasp the concepts, but this last day of the semester was different. Professor Kroll finished briefing us on preparing for the final exam, and then he shifted into a  philosophical, poetic tone as he shared about a practice that has played a significant role in his life. For the first time in organic chemistry, I sat mesmerized, hanging on Professor Kroll’s every word.

Each year, he and his wife would leave the kids at home with family or friends and go away to reflect on their life. They would examine its various aspects, taking stock of where they were, where they were headed, and what they wanted for the upcoming year.  As Dr. Kroll spoke, something resonated deep within me and I felt a strong call to go on my own reflective retreat. After 25 years of taking reflective retreats, this annual ritual has now become an important part of my life. 

A reflective retreat is a time to pause and step away from everyday distractions and assess where you are in life and ask how things are going.  It’s a periodic check-in with yourself, a time to revisit dreams and goals and plan to live in alignment with your deepest desires and priorities. I’ve found it nourishing, relaxing, and adventurous.

Reflective retreats allow space to notice the patterns of how we relate in the world and how they affect others. They are a time to honestly acknowledge how we (and our loved ones) are doing and what everyone needs to thrive. Yearly reviews are fun and easy when we come across areas of our life in which we are breezing by. However, this process can be difficult when we come across areas in which our behavior is no longer working for us or those around us. It can be painful when we examine parts of our life where we have experienced significant loss and setbacks or feel confused and stuck.  

Self-compassion is one of the most important conditions of a reflective retreat. We can be with the challenging parts of our life in a kind and supportive way. A non-judgmental attitude and caring presence are keys to opening up and honestly facing the painful parts of our life. 

Deep listening and patience are gracious gifts we can give to ourselves. This inner hospitality invites us to creatively consider new ways of being in the world and gives us the courage to let go of dysfunctional habits. But if we are locked into a certain perspective on an issue, it can be hard to offer this kind of open-heartedness to ourselves. When I find myself in this situation I’ll enlist the support of a professional life coach, counselor, spiritual director, dietitian or personal trainer. 

Each retreat is unique, and It’s important to remain flexible in order to give more time and attention to particularly pressing issues. Some aspects of life are more dialed in, and just need a quick review, while others will need more support. Typically, I’ll go away for five to seven days, which allows time for a holistic review of my life. And I like to find locations that have access to nature, fresh, locally sourced food, interesting architecture, and a variety of places to relax.

After years of experimenting and adjusting the structure of my reflective retreats, I’ve developed a process that leads me through my physical, emotional, vocational, social, spiritual, and financial life. I usually dedicate half to a full day to reflect on a pillar of wellness. After I pick an area of life to ponder for the day, I leave that day open to whatever I’m inspired to do. Once I get clarity on an area, I’ll come up with goals and a detailed action plan to implement when I get home.

A typical week usually consists of walks in nature, writing, swimming, lounging by the pool, reading, contemplating, exercising at the resort gym, leisurely meals, playing (art classes, cooking class, biking, rafting…), exploring the local area, and spending time at the spa.  My journal is always with me, and as ideas arise, I can capture them and ride the inspiration train for however long it goes. I’ve developed a flexible process to help guide my contemplations, and when combined with relaxation and play, it allows for an organic, gentle way to explore the deeper things of life. 

Pausing every year to ponder the state of my well-being, life trajectory, and current desires have helped me stay connected with my values, goals, and priorities. Reflective retreats have been a way to attend to my mind, body, and soul, make course corrections along the way, and live in better alignment with what is most important to me.

I hope reflective retreats will help support you on your journey of holistic wellness. Oasis Adventures is excited to guide and encourage you as you discover creative ways to live with meaning and purpose.

Most warmly,

James